Thursday, July 28, 2011

In Which Shay What Makes No Apologies (but somehow still comes off sounding apologetic?)

Recently a famous person died. Like a lot of famous people these days it happened due to a series of poor mistakes made on the part of said famous person. Death of said famous person coincided with an event that is now Historical (for all the bad reasons). A bunch of people were, essentially, massacred in Norway because a guy hates Muslims.

So, before I begin my rambling let me clarify something:

Yes it IS sad that said Famous Person died.

Now, here's where I get probably kinda nasty depending on how you view things.

Absolutely zero of my sympathy is extended towards the decedent in this case. None. Whatsoever. She made her decisions. She stayed on the road she was on. She knew the possible results of her actions. I have a very hard time assigning sympathy to those types of people. I have had this conversation several times in my 29 years. Each person offers a perfectly valid reason (or excuse) as to WHY I should  feel sympathy for these people.

One person offered the opinion of "its an addiction. You can't just quit an addiction. You have to WANT to."

Knowing what addictions like that can do and what has happened to others I find that to be more than a little selfish. It's like slowly committing suicide (of which I have very definite ideas on as well). Only those around you are watching you die. They don't "get" to wake up one morning and hear you just offed yourself. Instead they watch you slowly disappear. I guess that gives they time to adjust.

I have a deep love and affection for my friends who have ginormous hearts. They care about everyone and everything. I just can't do that. I just can't seem to find the energy or time to care about people who didn't care about themselves or the people they were hurting. It DOES make me sad though when those people (in my head) appear to think less of me because I can't fit everyone into my worldview.

I tried that once. It just didn't work.

Someone told me once (when I was in High School) I was too young to be such a pessimist.

I don't look at it as pessimism really. I've always classified it as realism.

And some people may say "Well, I hope nothing like that ever happens to you" and to that I say if it does I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me. I'd have brought it on myself. I have TRIED to bring it on myself (turns out I fail at things). But if I had succeeded, oh so many years ago, it would've been my own stupid fault and I wouldn't have been deserving of anyone's sympathy. Family? Friends? Sure. Me? Not so much.Selfish and stupid people deserve nothing.

I think this may have come out a bit more caustic than planned. And, sure, I could backspace it all away. But...where's the truth in that?

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